Tuesday, January 29, 2008

cut you off

it's been close to three months since I last talked to a certain friend of mine. At first I was really depressed about the fight we had and I admit it was due to my tactless nature. And him being so sensitive, it was just a really bad combination. In a drunken stupor he and i patched things up and exchanged missings and hugs. but still, it's not the same. i do miss our long talks in the evening about whatever he was pissed about that day and me trying to get him to laugh. of course, i suck at that but i suppose he found comfort nonetheless.

sad to say i've given up.

the realization that another person who you cared about so much does not return the favor is a tear jerker. Think it took me two days of anger to just calm down after this happened. Some other friends even got into the fray. In one incident I actually stepped off with all my aloofness and refusal to speak to any common links. I just felt cold.

no matter how he tried today i just couldn't look his way or acknowledge the fact. Just like all the rest who have hit the last nerve, it saddens me that i just don't want to care anymore. it just happens. just cut it all off.

"so long and farewell...we had a wonderful time.
let's not do this over again. All the moments that we spent
i'd soon forget..you're not good for me
you drive me insane. I know you'll be the end of me
all you bring is misery. i must squeeze you out of me,
to free myself. And cut you off."

I'm not going to arrogantly think he will regret what he did or suffer a loss. He never really needed me. That was the lightbulb that went off. F told me about this song. It's not that you are angry or anything, you just decide to be indifferent.

If two months ago my Overtone anthem was Dito Pa Rin. Last month's anthem was Rule#1, now my anthem is Cut You Off.

posted by maldita @ 10:28 PM

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