Tuesday, November 27, 2007

my best friend's wedding

last saturday was my best friend's wedding. It was beautiful and just perfect. I had one promise to the bride and that was: I wouldn't be late. haha! True to my word, I was the first one at the church so I took a nap in the car. Then spotted best man Miko arriving so rushed out - we were all actually so excited for these two wonderful people. It was a very light wedding, no major traditions. My partner walking down the aisle was the one and only groomsman, Ninoy who was a blast. If you look at our photos, we were still chatting away while going up to the altar like old friends. And to think we just met at the despedida a few nights before. We all wanted to cry at different points, because if there is anyone who deserves to be together for life - it's raffy and frances. They've already been like such a married couple their whole relationship. And you can tell from the start that God had already blessed them.

I've always loved Frances, my true best friend in the world. The one person I have never had any fights with, even if we were almost complete opposites. She has been the voice in my head and the heart that keeps me grounded. We have been best friends for over 8 years now and I though it pains me not to be with her anymore, the happiness I have for the two of them overwhelms me more. She just left today for her honeymoon and after the holidays, she will be permanently moving to Singapore. All of a sudden, I am excited to go on my next business trip to Sing now. I plan to extend my stay if only to help surpass my withdrawal of our lovely dinners, sangria nights, movie and coffee dates and the list goes on. Raffy has already offered the extra room at their apartment.

I am so grateful that my first time to be a bridesmaid, and it was for my best friend. Even I was pleasantly surprised because they both only chose one bridesmaid and one groomsman.

I spoke to her today at the airport right before they boarded the plane. See, even if she's about to go off on her own honeymoon she thinks of me. The most amazing girl. She's the one who brings me along on her valentines dates to be with dateless me. She's the one who brought me balloons when I locked myself in the room contemplating a life of torment. She's the one who I spend lavish hours in the parlor or spa with for well needed pampering. When she's there, I am happy. I can say there are two special people in my life who make me feel that way. That level of complimentary contentment.

I think part of what made this wedding so great was that every single person knew this was meant to be. Frances didn't even have a hard time sleeping the night before. When both raffy and frances woke up, they were as relaxed as ever. Raffy had been giddy and excited for so many days now, it was so cute! You can see how much he loves her and is so good for her. Miko and I can't stop telling stories about their quirks and hilarious situations together. Told him, you're also ok bec. you live in Sing and you'll still have them both around! To which he said, tara move to Sing na rin. hehe. We would be in our best friend bubble.

To quote cristina from Grey's Anatomy: She's my person.
I'll miss you sweetie. But will see you soon. Love you too!

Their song down the aisle couldn't phrase this wonderful marriage better:
I could not ask for more than this time together.
I couldn't ask for more that this time with you.
Every breath has been answered. Every dream that has come through.
Right here in this moment, it's that we're all meant to be.

posted by maldita @ 4:21 AM 0 comments

Monday, November 26, 2007

Growing up.

Wikipedia describes an adult as someone with the following personal characteristics BUT there is not always a concordance between the qualities cited and the physical age of the person.

Self-control - restraint, emotional control.
Stability - stable personality, strength.
Independence - ability to self-regulate.
Seriousness - ability to deal with life in a serious manner.
Responsibility - accountability, commitment and reliability.
Method/Tact - ability to think ahead and plan for the future, patience.
Endurance - ability and willingness to cope with difficulties that present themselves.
Experience - breadth of mind, understanding.
Objectivity - perspective and realism.

Something to think about.

posted by maldita @ 1:04 AM 2 comments

Friday, November 23, 2007

everyone has these days

posted by maldita @ 1:19 AM 0 comments

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Beijing baby!

i'm back from beijing! i can't believe how many photos I had taken in a span of four days. It was amazing. I haven't been on a tour in so long but this was really fun. Tiring but fun. I had picked the best media group to go with me and i just felt comfortable with them. We just kept joking the whole time and within the whole delegation, we were dubbed the smallest group BUT the friendliest and most fun :) it's like we were this big bundle of joy that just exploded. It felt good to influence the rest of the rest of the media attendees from all the other asian countries and even the head of our tour said that we lasted the longest (in four degrees below zero weather) in the great wall...we are heroes! hehe.

The first whole day was all work though, but it didn't feel like it. This was the first time I got to have long conversations with some of the top japanese bosses in my company and it felt so satisfying to have accomplished so much and deserve it. I was able to prep the media so that we could provide very interesting information. I was able to meet with the no.2 guy in the whole company and it felt like I was meeting celebrities with all the japanese corporate bigwigs in that room. I had also met those who I had earlier been so intimated with through email which made me feel more in tune with this company and what it stands for. Times like these are such rewards where you know you've been doing a great job and deserve the level you are currently in. With all the issues regarding visa application, the press kits etc. I was still able to crack jokes to lighten the mood and keep everyone in good moods. The fact that us Filipinos could speak English well also allowed us to be first in every activity. I had also gotten so many good ideas that could translate well for our future events here.

I am so inspired at the moment that i think i would really like to pursue learning a little more japanese. I would be able to interact better with all the others and can look forward to more events like this.

And as expected, we had unbelievable experiences with the food. We went to a Muslim-Chinese restaurant complete with belly dancers and a kung-fu performance. We went to a Peking Duck restaurant where it feels like it was an Iron Chef episode with duck soup, duck appetizers, duck desserts etc. We went to a restaurant with 900 year old trimmings complete with concubine servers...oh and i mistakenly ate something that we later found out was camel hump. I suppose there really is a first time for everything.

If that wasn't enough, our last night had us going to the Red Theater and watching Chun-Yi: The Legend of Kung-Fu show which had some of the yummiest casts. I was crushing on one of the lead's kung fu actors and had a picture with him after the show. What a bod, what talent and what cheekbones. yummy indeed. Think I was blushing in our photo heehee. But their skill was really amazing. Apparently a lot of those things you see in movies can be done. Without a harness or anything. They are so impervious to any pain. how hot is that?

Going home i really didn't think I had gone to Beijing to work but of course it kicks in that in tomorrow's divisional meeting I will have to give a report. A lot of key learning for future media activities and trips. I suppose things can't be perfect since i had suffered through the smallest plane and the worst airline service I have ever had in both trips back and forth. PAL really needs to kick things up. But in a few months I will be flying off to Singapore again and I am actually looking forward to it, even if it is work. I enjoy being with my other counterparts from other countries and it is so nice to just tell stories and share our work.

So in a few days I was able to see the Olympic site, an A-shaped gi-normous building (CCTV), Tiananmen square, the Forbidden City, the Great Wall of China, two hours of walking through temples, rode the cable car amidst my fear of heights, survived below zero weather plus wind factor, joined a group of about 800 bosses and partners, learned a lot about Chinese history, experienced an excellently planned major corporate event, and met a lot of amazing people. I feel like I've really got it good.

posted by maldita @ 8:22 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

few days down

so in a few hours I'm off the beijing. Forget the fact that I am going on a red-eye flight after just watching the movie Red-Eye. As much as it is my first time there, I can't say I'm all that excited. Of course there's non-stop peking duck and lots of shopping. Great that I will be with good, nice people who I know I'm going to have fun with. I'm still racking my brain trying to figure out what is the most professional outfit to bring without sacrificing comfort. I have no idea how to fit everything into my luggage since I will be staying for four days in four degree weather! I have to find all my gloves and scarves though. Well, in any case I am just super excited to watch my first Shaolin Kung Fu show. Aside from the tour of Tiananmen Square and the Great Wall. I do expect that I will be exhausted by the time I get back on Sunday. And then what do you know...back to work. Sometimes I wonder how much I can push myself for all these things. And yet I do. A sense of accomplishment creeps in for about a second when I get to catch my breath. And then it's back to work. Funny how the grind gives you this adrenalin rush and you keep pounding the paved hours.

Today I had a hell of a time finding a cab. Forget the fact that I could have probably walked home from my current location, because my car and laptop were left at the office. Really bad idea to take a cab and even worse to think I could get a lift at 6pm rush hour. A kind soul actually helped me though. An old friend who I can say I've hurt in the past and have been able to rekindle a semblance of friendship. Shows how sucky you can be and there are these people who are still willing to lend a hand. I only hope that he gets what he deserves in due time - a good job he loves and a woman to hold. But then again, isn't that what we all want?

Well, needless to say I found myself home. Still trying to figure out how I'm going to stay awake until about 3 or 4am when I have to drag myself out and get to the airport. This will definitely take a LOT of coffee. Hmmm...so should I bring my laptop or not? given the activities, I don't think that I should but I might have to check my mail in the evening. Geez. I'm such a geezer. I just hate having to lug that piece all around the airport while I wait for my flight. I'm usually pooped with it. and my shoulder feels like it's going to break at any moment.

posted by maldita @ 9:41 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

he was a fine young cannibal.

There's this show that my brother and I bond over. No, it's not SCRUBS although discovering that show has got to be one of the biggest turning points of my life. It's a little british comedy called The I.T. Crowd. I've always had this penchant for british tv comedies - I've wanted to cry ever since I lost my complete season collection of Coupling. When we moved houses, I can't seem to remember where I had put it. SNiff. But I digress.

I was just thinking about how my life has seemed to revolve around my computer. No matter how long people know me, they still get shocked into seeing me in the light of a computer screen. It just seems unfathomable to some that i looooove tech. Well I may not know much and still have to periodically get educated on the new developments but that's just the beauty of it. There is always something new to learn and discover. At a breaking speed. It's never boring. Now that's a statement about IT for you. Hehe. Only a geek would say that I suppose.

Funny how geeks have now become cool. But I don't mean those who dress in their chucks and their mismatched outfits to go watch some alternative band. Or use enough molding mud to get that perfect cowlicked look. Nope. I'm talking about those introverted human beings who are just passionate about things that are, from time to time, considered boring. I've already written about the difference between nerds, geeks and freaks. Freaks would give me a completely different explanation altogether.

So am I a geek? maybe not. Although I do envy those who are. Those art geeks who can identify a sculpture or painting from a mile away. tech geeks who understand the jargon that is tech on a current level. comic geeks who know exactly what issue is coming up and what storyline is being tapped into. literary geeks who can isolate the congruance of several authors and their themes. music geeks who can find even the most miniscule of melodies. I can't say I am any one of those no matter how hard I try. Because I prefer to be a mixed-up tape of all of them put together. I also enjoy the fact that they know so much more than me and I can have these conversations of discovery.

All this thought coming from one little task: finally moved on to paying for all my bills online. And i love my Moss to bits.

note: guy with wierd afro hair in the photo? That's the original Moss. (my Moss is my little ol' laptop) I find the Irish guy, Roy completely adorable (not to mention he reminds me of someone). And their boss, Jen is a neurotically funny woman who goes through all the idiosyncracies of pretending she has a clue of what she's doing. It is hilarious. Trust me.

posted by maldita @ 12:54 AM 0 comments

Sunday, November 11, 2007

happy birthday to me!

definitely a happy day that extended to the following morning with a suprise call with matching serenade. haha! a pick of the best and warmest of buds, monsters, family and flukes. what made it so great was that all those deemed extra special showed up despite sickness, work or important things to do early the next day. i can't complain. it was all worth it!

Notwithstanding those who sent me warm wishes - i can't believe they all remembered! - the effort and intention was just as meaningful.

This birthday may as well signify just who are those for keeps...with lots and lots more hugs!

Thirty-one. a point in time which i was not really looking forward to, can't believe i've actually reached and has given me a reason to begin evolving into a person I can be happy with.

and yet, i am also guilty of some erroneous acts that evening mostly due to my imbalanced emotionally drunk stupor. But based on today's moment of truth, apparently not much harm done. Hopefully it will be the last of the psychotic episodes but i am also truly grateful for such accepting souls...you know who you are...mmmmmwwwaaaah! ;)

posted by maldita @ 10:08 PM 3 comments

Sunday, November 4, 2007

maybe it is.

It's just been too long already. and the signs all point towards the other path.

Tell me how you've been,
Tell what you've seen,
Tell me that you'd like to see me too.

'cause my heart is full of no blood,
My cup is full of no love,
Couldn't take another sip even if I wanted.

But it's not too late,
Not too late for love.

My lungs are out of air,
Yours are holding smoke,
And it's been like that now for so long.

I've seen people try to change,
And I know it isn't easy,
But nothin' worth the time never really is.

And it's not too late,
It's not too late for love,

posted by maldita @ 11:00 PM 0 comments

Saturday, November 3, 2007

people who know me also know how accurate the scorpio description is of me...and i faithfully look to it as a guide for self-awareness (and preservation). So with my ever persistent "saturn return", here's a scorpio summation which I got from jo-e:

SCORPIO

Your element: Water

Your ruling planets: Pluto

Symbol: The Scorpion

Your stone: Topaz (i loooove my birthstone! growing up this is what my mom would give me for jewelry and unfortunately I lost everything and so I am left with no topaz to call my own. Maybe soon I should invest in a ring at least - of blue or yellow topaz)

Life Pursuit: To survive against all opposition (and you all know just how MUCH opposition is out there)

Vibration: Resilient (you have to be. My best friend in the whole wide world describes me to be resilient given that i'm still around kicking - and fighting for my life)

Scorpio's Secret Desire: To triumph (and what IS triumph? I am still searching for it so I can attain it)

Reputed to be the "most powerful" sign of the zodiac, Scorpios lead fate filled lives and have intense and dramatic personal relationships. Even as children Scorpios are often found to be wise beyond their years. Many astrologers call this the sign of the "oldest souls". Old and wise beyond the average, Scorpios often know all the answers, except sometimes; they too often have difficulty finding what they need to develop their own happiness. (best at giving advice but weak at following or finding it for themselves)

Passion, desire and power go hand in hand for Scorpios. Their biggest challenge and test in life is choosing between the power of love and the love of power. (if you see me forgoing control and power for someone else, you know i'm in love) Coming to grips with their extraordinary emotional depths and sensitivity isn't easy for those around them. They are different from all other zodiac signs and this difference has them walking, working and loving to a different beat.(amen) Others can often live with a Scorpio partner for years, but not really know them. Much to do with a Scorpio remains ever secret. Their eyes often blaze with feelings that words never express, and beware on the days or nights they hide their feelings behind dark glasses, there is likely to be a storm of some kind brewing. When you deal with a Scorpio you have to always deal with them on a psychic intuitive level. They often wear a mask. Too often they say "no" when they really mean "yes". They have contrary natures. Once they find true love they can be the most faithful dedicated of all partners but fall out badly with a Scorpio and you are likely to find they will never forget or forgive.

Most Scorpios are winners. The main thing they have to worry about is their attitudes, which make up their mind powers and can either make or break them. When they are negative about something or someone, or critical of themselves, they can tend to get in their own way. (the opposition sometimes comes from within. last halloween my friend wanted to bop me on the head for being so self-criticial)

Scorpios operate on three levels of soul evolvement; adding up to three distinctively different types of Scorpios. The first level is the Scorpion. This is the least evolved and most drawn toward using their powers the wrong way. The criminal element of Scorpio comes under this level. (not to mention vengeful and jealous) Then there is the eagle - the highflying, entrepreneurial, successful Scorpio, who seems able to rise above adversity and transform bad-times into good.(nope, still not here) Then the highest expression of this sign is the Phoenix Resurrected. (my objective in life is to reach this higher state. I can identify three fellow scorpios who I admire the most and for me, achieved this state of detachment and confidence) These Scorpios are detached and extremely powerful. They are wise beyond their years and act as leaders and are an inspiration to others. Quite frequently a Scorpio goes through the three levels of evolvement in one lifetime - but the levels can operate out of sequence.

always wanted a scorpion tattoo...but don't have the guts for the pain.

posted by maldita @ 3:57 PM 0 comments

moon knight

so what ever happened to that offer to be my "knight in shining armor"? tsk tsk. Funny how they all seem to disappear after one try. I suppose persistence doesn't exist anymore. hehe.

Anyway...this is what happens when Amazon, the little devils, sends you periodic emails after purchasing a few comic books. And they keep you updated on stuff that didn't cross your mind to begin with and yet eventually makes its way to your desirable needs list.

I like this spiderman issue for the cover and it intrigues me. ah. if i drew a comic book character he would definitely look like Moon Knight. Dark, with sharp points. (For those who are of the same age group - kind of like my fascination with Snake Eyes of G.I.Joe fame) the geeky girl in me who likes comics. I just got a gift recently of a 2GB flash drive and i was pretty excited to use it. My account exec was just about to present some studies for me and I actually made her wait while I opened my package. She found it so unexpected that i was such a gadget geek...more when i told her that yeah, i like comics and toys sometimes. surprise surprise.

and tonight, after being shaken out of my peace of mind, all i can think about is how much i want to just buy several comic books from felix and just fester in my bed for days.

posted by maldita @ 1:04 AM 0 comments

Friday, November 2, 2007

facebook

what's up with everyone and facebook? I totally can't see myself getting into it. For one, I don't have time to be online most of the time so don't see much use for it. i think having a blog and multiply is enough for me. I've even gotten rid of my friendster because it just became another way for people to spy on me. I think my privacy is pretty much at risk with two network sites anyway - right? hehe.

man i'm really beat. Last halloween was a pretty simple night out with J and T. but became nauseous for the next two days. ugh. but then again i didn't want to go to capones and spend another same-as-always night out. I have to admit it was kind of surreal. hehe. and then this saturday is another birthday celebration for T. I still have to go out and buy alcohol for next friday. must remember to send out invites as well. Not to mention fixing up the event on thursday. And my beijing visa for next week. man, this will be one hell of a month!

posted by maldita @ 12:32 PM 3 comments

About Me

This is my world. This is who I am. And I'm not gonna give up myself to make your life better. And you want me to change. I can't get used to all you want me to be and I just can't pretend to be anyone else 'cause it's not really me. - Darius Rucker